A boring post for boring people like me OR How WRONG are the concepts of friendship in India (or any other human civilisation)

1) Forced BFF

Well, even I am a victim of this disease. You get connected to someone, and assume they are your BFF. Also, some stupid internet picture says ‘if you are friends for 7 years, you will remain friends forever’. BULLSHIT. I recently broke friendship with a person whom I was friend for past 8 years. All I want to say, it doesn’t matter how long the friendship is. You talk for hours to that person, doesn’t mean that person is your best friend. This assumption of labelling someone as your best friend, just because he/she has been talking to you for years, is quite immature and childish. But that’s what exactly happens around here.

2) ‘No sorry, no thank you’ type friendship

Bollywood influenced tagline, where all manners and ethics are lost. There is this notion that in true friendship, there should be no saying sorry and thank you. Its like, murder of mannerism, politeness and overdose of traumatising emotional melodrama. What’s wrong in saying THANK YOU and SORRY in any relationship ? And then, people who say such stuff, are judged heavily. And this attitude is reflected everywhere. The basic courtesy is lost when you bring in this shitty philosophy of not thanking and apologising in friendship. But again, this thing exists in abundance in my beloved country.

3) There should be no money in friendship, really ?

I borrow some bucks from you, and do my job. And then you ask me for your money. And i come up with this awesome quote “there should be no money in any friendship”, and you say “okay”. Well its NOT okay. I have seen people owing their friends upto thousands and ten thousands, but not giving them back. Money is an important factor which is completely neglected among friends. Which, again, is not right. They simply don’t ask because they know you are an asshole, and wont return the favour back. They actually kind of dislike you for this cocky behaviour. Pay that person back even a single penny you have borrowed from him/her. Each penny counts, and that leads to a healthy friendship. And trust on this fact, the friendship which has zero loan in between, is the longest and the healthiest.

4) Taken for granted friendship

BULLYING, is what I am talking about. I will come out of closet now. I have been bullied by people who I thought to be friends, in my college days. There have been occasions where these people vehemently dominated over me, with their physical will, just because they wanted me to do something of their wish. They call this as ‘okay’ in friendship. They say, since we are friends, so its alright to bully and tease someone, crossing all the ethical limits. Hitting physically, swearing and insulting, and literally using a person for a selfish need, is considered as ‘perfectly acceptable’ in some friendships here. There is this extremely stupid, annoying, outdated and classless phrase called as ‘birthday bumps’, in which a bunch of hungry barbarians hold the birthday boy up, chaining his arms and legs with human hands, and kicking him on his back with long, stinking, uncivilised legs. They call it ‘fun’ and a way of celebration. Well, this IS barbarism, and it should be stopped ASAP. Just because its his birthday, doesn’t mean you would take that person’s privacy for granted. Its not fun.

At the moment, these four points I am able to stumble upon. I might add something more later.

The Misunderstood Wannabes

I would categorise my countrymen into three zones.

One, which has people who are plainly simple, with no artistic mind. These doesn’t necessarily mean they are right or wrong, but simply they do not fancy any of the literate hobbies, such as deep reading, poetry, art and expressional representative media of society. They hyperbolise every event, leading to wasteful amount of quarrels and scuffs, which has no meaning to life at all. Their choice of music, is trendy, flexible, and has no soul to them. They may or may not be, money-minded, but they certainly do not represent the elite class of society. Moreover, they mock the sophisticated way of living, and find happiness in felonistic* way of livelihood.

The second one are those, who find true meaning to life. They indulge in sophistication and mannerism, to such an extent, so that they find a sane connection with the world. They find peace in themselves, and happiness among small things that matter. They read, from classics to novels, and have a very outward projection of mind. They are open-minded people, progressive ones of the lot, and constantly engage their world in something creative. They find reasons to their sadness, complain less, and are in best of their state when left alone. They avoid small talks, fake fashion, and believe in subtlety of thoughts. They are the inventors, entrepreneurs, discoverers and motivators.

Coming to the third, and the most trickiest ones. These are, I would call as ‘middle-men’ or ‘the misunderstood wannabes’. These people, have surroundings of the first type of people, but want to become like the second ones. They are surrounded by blatantly simple surroundings, where independence and choice of freedom are debatable discussions, and thinkings are limited to orthodox and rudimentary systems. Their skies of imagination are limited by social pressures, but inside they are deep thinkers, waiting for the box to open. They read classics and understand (or try to) art in its truest form, but end up being in a slum of outdated simplification. They have been, by some reasons, surrounded by people who do not connect to them, but are forced to live with it due to, again, social pressures. Best example would be South Africa and Lesotho. South Africa got independence from United Kingdom, in the year 1931 (although, UK left SA in that year, a complete independence was achieved much later in 1996, but here we are talking about independence from colonialism), while Lesotho achieved in 1966. A Mosotho (ethnicity of Lesotho, singular) would have felt tormented and destroyed from inside, since the geography of Lesotho is a land-locked country surrounded by South Africa from all the sides. She/he would have felt tortured and destroyed for 30 years, seeing her/his neighbour being freed from the nation ruling her/his Lesotho. Just an analogy, this might be complete bullshit. All I am trying to say is, these third kind of people, are those who are chained to their social pressures, and struggle everyday to fight for their own independence. They might be having all the necessities of life, enough to survive for life, but not quite enough to rise beyond the sun. They want to be the ‘second-type’ of Indians. And they are struggling day and night.

Fighting for independence is a great thing in itself. Whether its for your country, or for yourself. Warrior.

* – a word coined by me, which relates similar to hooliganism.

Two Hindi Bollywood poems, which mean a lot in real life

I will just re-quote two Bollywood poems here, from two movies, both directed by Anurag Kashyap. Its very relevant in present day life.

ए जवानो !!
गरीबी तोड़ देती है जो रिश्ते ख़ास होते हैं
गरीबी तोड़ देती है जो रिश्ते ख़ास होते हैं
और पराये अपने होते हैं जब पैसे पास होते हैं
हर यार वफादार नहीं होता
हर पत्थर चमकदार नहीं होता
न जाने वन में कितने फूल खिले हैं
हर फूल खुशबूदार नहीं होता

– Gangs of Wasseypur II (2012)

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है
देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ू-ऐ-कातिल में है
वक़्त आने पर बता देंगे तुझे ऐ आसमान
हम अभी से क्या बताएं क्या हमारे दिल में है

ओह रे बिस्मिल काश आते आज तुम हिन्दुस्तान
देखते की मुल्क सारा क्या टशन क्या थ्रिल में है
आज का लौंडा यह कहता हम तो बिस्मिल थक गए
अपनी आज़ादी तो भय्या लौंडिया के तिल में है

आज के जलसों में बिस्मिल एक गूंगा गा रहा
और बेहरों का वो रेला नाचता महफ़िल में है
हाथ की खादी बनाने का ज़माना लग गया
आज तो चड्ढी भी सिलती एन्ग्लिशों के मिल में है

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है
देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ू-ऐ-कातिल में है
वक़्त आने पर बता देंगे तुझे ऐ आसमान
हम अभी से क्या बताएं क्या हमारे दिल में है

– Gulaal (2009)

Who is your friend ?

Who exactly is your best friend ? There are many categories of ‘best friends’ which I have observed.

One such, are those who claim to be at your side always, but are not really physically present when you really need them. These are friends living in the same city as of yours, but are so busy in giving false hopes, that they forget they are actually not helping in any way. They say they support you, but have a list of excuses when you need their help. In short, they are not your real friends. They have a large number of friends, and to each they have used this cliche “i am always there for you”. Its as normal as to say “What’s up ?”. So better don’t trust them much. They are like air, and should not be stuck to your life.

Other, are those who needed your help when they were desperate, but now have completely forgotten you. They are progressive people, who make friends as and when they change places, giving great memories to others, but after they move to a different place, they kind of start ignoring the old ones. Since they have given brilliant memories, so its hard to forget them. But they are not bad, its just they are busy in making their names big, so they just don’t have time. These, can be called as ‘friends’.

Third, and the most important ones. These people, no matter how busy they are, no matter how far they are, will make sure they stay in touch with you. They have you in their memories and prayers, and love you the most. They are busy in making their names big, but they make sure to take care of you as well. They might not be able to reply to each text of yours on time, which might give you a sense of insecurity about them. But believe this fact, nothing is more important than YOU for them. They don’t actually message you, or send you any gifts, or call you from time to time. But their style of loving you, is totally unique and different. And you will realise this only when you meet them in person. They just want the best in you, as they love you deeply. They will tolerate all your bullshit and nonsense, and even if you hurt them, they open their arms and forgive you. All they want is, the best of you and you to be happy. Forever. They, my friends, are known as “best friends”. Don’t fucking leave them. You only deserve them.

Btw, I have a handful of friends, falling in the third category. If they are reading this post, they know who they are. Some of them do not belong to my nationality. Enough of giving hints. There is too much love here !!!

Heptanesia

The Greeks mentioned you,
A cluster of Seven Islands;
Heptanasia

Bhimdev established you,
The Pathare Prabhus of Mahikawati;
Kakamuchee

Sultanat-e-Hind annexed you,
Came under the Muslims;
Manbai

The Mughals came,
So did the Portuguese;
Bombaim

Franciscans, Catholics and Jesuits,
That was century of fifteenth;
Bombaim

Churches were built,
St. Andrews, Gloria, St. John;
Tana-Maiambu

Bombaym, Monbaym, Mombaim,
Catherine of Braganza marries Charles II of England;
Bambaye, Bombaiim, Bombeye

Century of seventeenth,
Attacked by the Dutch and the Mughals;
Boon Bay

The English East India Company,
Battling with the Marathas;
Bombay

1817,
British Bombay Presidency;
Bombay

1942, 1947, 1960,
Beginning of a new era;
Bombay State

Century of the twentieth,
Marathi, Konkani, Hindi, Urdu;
Mumbai, Mambai, Bambai

1995,
One last time;
Mumbai

Always strong, always brave,
Mumbai. Mumbai. Mumbai.
Oh, and its raining today.

To a brother, living in hills

To a brother, living in hills
To a friend, more than a mentor,
To someone, in whom confides many a secrets,
To a foreigner, who has all my trust.
To someone who loves football,
To someone who knows a bit of all,
To him, who introduced me to alcohol,
To him, who trusted me at the time of fall,
To him, who asked for nothing,
To him, who gave me everything…

Buddy. I miss you. And I love you very much.

Best philosophical thing in this blog

What is best ? What exactly is ‘the best thing ever’ ? What is a ‘best friend’ ? How can anyone say that this thing is the best ? What might be best for person A, could be the worst for person B. What might be the ‘best thing ever’ for an entire population, might be the most horrible thing for another. How do we define ‘best’ ? How do you say a friend to be your best friend ? Best-friend means, the best of all the friends. Does it mean, rest everyone are horrible ? Are you being judgemental ? Or judgemental enough to judge your own morality ? Who created the ‘best thing ever’ concept ? Why have standards ? Why cant everything be the best in itself ? Why cant you have just ‘good friends’, shunning down the label of ‘best’ among them. Aren’t you being choosy among your friends ? Wha is best, is personal to everyone, and should not be enforced to everyone else. If that movie is best for you, it doesn’t mean everyone should watch it. Or if its the best movie on the planet, then not necessarily I would like it as well. Don’t run behind ‘best’. Be the best. Among whatever you have.

Names for Human Species OR Alternate cool names for Homo Sapiens

HUMANS !!! Did you know, Lord Wikipedia has a page, where He enlightens us with various binomial names of the most idiotic living species on the planet, the Homo Sapiens. The list, there, is incomplete. So even this list is dependant on that (Lord Wikipedia is the superior God, and I am just His servant. We all are His servant, anyway). Binomial nomenclature is the art of complexing overly-simplified terms, by breaking it into two parts using utterly complex Latin words (because no one understands it, that’s why). So suppose your name is Canon Nutella (because these were the first two things I saw on my table), so your binomial nomenclature will be some random Latin name for Canon as well as Nutella. These cool names were coined by various humans, such as Pappe, Humbarto Maturana, Cedric Boeckx, Nicolaus Cusanus, Edgar Morin, Heinrich Roth, Oscar Carvajal, Comte de Buffon, Benjamin Franklin, Karl Marx, Hannah Arendt, Johan Huizinga, Walter Burket, Hans Jonas, Gabriel Marcel etc. Not one Indian !!! Because simple reason. We don’t know Latin.

The picture below, for which I took hours to show-off my editing skills, has all the second names of binomial nomenclature for humans. Just add homo- as prefix, and you will get each nomenclature. Again, Lord Wikipedia knows all the meanings of it.

Look, I tried to be cool, but this is all I can do. The names are actually cool though, can be used in scriptwriting, if your characters are humans. Here is the source for it :
Names for the human species

We, the members of ‘abnormal’ race

The horrible age of 25. This is the time, when people should move out of getting friend-zoned by every other person. This is the time when people should be making professional connections, find a partner with whom they can grow. This is the phase of life where people focus on their career, and go out to achieve their dreams. This is the time, when people actually do something to make themselves occupied and happy. That’s what normal people do. That’s how people progress in life.

And then, there are abnormal people. Who still are fighting their inner demons to stay calm and relaxed. These are mostly single people, who have failed the test of normality. They have dreams, as big as other normal people, its just some situations have not allowed them to achieve them in the pace they wanted to. They might be making progress, contributing tiny steps towards their goals, unnoticed by them themselves. They are still stuck in difficulty of making friends, as they have none. They are disturbed species. They are the outcast, the ‘different’ ones.

And then, we read stories of successful people, the great ones. These eccentric homo sapiens, fortunately, come from the later section of the society. The chosen ones, are generally not happy or satisfied, but are vibrating like a tuning fork. They are the people, who are labeled as ‘not normal’ by others, are blamed to be complaining about themselves. World ignore their constant struggle to become normal, but their dreams embrace this. And after all the battles they fight alone, after decades of sweat and madness, we see normal people cozying happily in their couches, praising greatness of these ‘abnormal’ people.

Smile now. 🙂

Let the links do the talking for this post

I am not going to write much here. These links will do the talking.

People Who Want Attention
The evolving BFF
Stuffs about OCD
Why we love notifications
How to complain less